Saturday, January 16, 2016

Should you purchase a hearse?

I am not a hearse expert, therefore I am not biased either way. However, that also means I know less than a hearse aficionado about them in general. Here is my personal experience with the most grim of automobiles. First, I think they are really cool. Some people are creeped out by them, and I can see why. But if you drive a hearse, you stand out. Odds are good you won't meet another hearse driver (private owner) unless you go to a meet (yes there are hearse meets, Google it). Anyway, I started looking for one a couple weeks ago and found one that was fairly close to me with 76,000 miles and what seemed like minimal care required. The seller was on and off responding so it was difficult to see the car. When I finally did get the chance to go see it, I had done my research.

Step one: Do research on the original car your hearse is based off of.
I did this before I went to see the car, and I'm glad I did. The coach I was going to see was a 1984 Cadillac DeVille based hearse (with a coffin in the rear, mind you). The '84 DeVille comes with the HT-4100 engine (High Technology 4.1 liter V8). Well, knowing little about this engine, I soon realized that there were plenty of horror stories about the engine. This was the beginning of the end for my purchase. If the power-train has a bad history, I would recommend not buying it, as hearses can easily turn into money pits. Now let's say your hearse passes all or most of the reliability checks. Move on to step two.

Step two: Don't fall in love with the car.
This was the hardest step for me, as I had a slick looking hearse with side pipes and cool wheels with a coffin in the back. The thing was loud, slow, and commanded attention. I still think it is one of the coolest cars I've seen, and definitely the coolest I've driven. I had to pry myself away because of steps one and three, though.

Step three: Check the car for any fatal signs of wear.
Check for frame rust or weird welding, as it may be a fake hearse if it has weird weld spots. Check for leaks as you would in any other used car (I found a coolant leak in mine). See how it runs and drives. Typically hearses are serviced well and driven fairly conservatively, but make sure nothing is fishy. Be sure that the interior is clean and mostly intact (mine wasn't, and none of the accessories worked, however, I was willing to fix these).

Step four: If your car has passed all the previous steps, congratulations! But make sure you know the risks associated with hearses in particular. Number one. Make sure you either have a garage that can fit a 19 foot vehicle or are willing to let it sit outside. Remember that parts may not be available easily, and that many shops can't work on these vehicles. Make sure you are comfortable driving one. It is very difficult because you have zero view out the rear of the car,which is already hard enough to drive as it is. Parking and turning are brutal, to put it nicely. It will probably be pretty slow, unless you modify it. If you are okay with or have a solution to the hurdles above, and the price is right...you sir or madame, should buy yourself a hearse. Might I suggest the vanity plate "UR NEXT"?



 Here are two pictures of the 1984 Cadillac Hearse I was looking to purchase. Cool vehicle to say the least. Hope it goes to a good home.


--Allcarseveryday

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